You Can Have Anything, But Not Everything

I was at the supermarket the other day and I was debating whether I wanted to get this special fancy cheese or a tub of ice cream. I think I stood there for about 10 minutes, just looking back and forth between the two, trying to decide which I wanted more. The debate went on and on in my head as I tried to imagine which would give me more satisfaction in the future when I would inevitably be curled up in bed watching Netflix, eating one of the two.

Wanna know which I ended up getting?

Both.

I couldn’t decide and I didn’t want to face the potential regret of choosing the wrong thing — so I ended up getting both. I felt incredibly guilty all the way home. Then I noticed I did it again a few days later at a restaurant. And as I thought about it more, I realized it was something I did constantly — in every area of my life.

When I couldn’t decide, I would choose both.

Should I learn about investing or learn a new language? “Meh, I can totally do both at the same time.”

Should I work at a new job or try to start my own business? “Meh, I can totally do both at the same time.”

On and on the examples went.

Then, the other day, I was listening to the Tim Ferriss Show and he had Derek Sivers on as a guest. When Tim asked Derek what advice he would give to his 20-year old self, Derek responded with an answer that just completely hit home for me.

He said, “Don’t be a donkey”.

He was referring to an old parable where a donkey finds himself between a pile of hay and a bucket of water. It looks left to the hay, then right to the water. Hay. Water. Hay. Water. It can’t decide which to have first… and eventually the donkey dies of both hunger and thirst.

The donkey wanted everything, and so he didn’t end up having anything. A donkey can’t think long-term. After all, if it could, it would know that it could have the water first, then have the hay. Or vice-versa. It didn’t matter whether it chose the hay or the water first — as long as it chose.

And we often do the same in our own lives. We want everything, so we end up having nothing. We want to spend time with our friends, work on a new business project, all while in full-time Crossfit training and starting a new job. We can have all of that at some point — a social life, our own business, an awesome fit body, and a great job. But when we try to have it all at once, all we end up with is a stress meltdown and a bruised ego.

You can do anything, but not everything. Not all at once anyway.

So next time you’re faced with an opportunity, just choose one. Yet, just one. Give that one opportunity everything you’ve got and only look for what’s next when you’re finished.

If not, you’ll be just like the donkey — looking from one opportunity to the next and getting neither.

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